when i am old, i shall wear purple...

Youth has no age.

On Sunday it was my gran’s 92^nd birthday and it was beautiful.

To live to an age like that is quite an achievement. She is still mobile and able to do most things. I envy her and hope to be like she is if I ever reach that age.

We went to this lovely restaurant in Stellenbosch (I think it’s my next place to go for my birthday).

And I had this chocolate nougat mousse with fresh berries. And it was more than delicious. really.

Andrea, you’d love it.

(eager smile)

Happy birthday gran. Thank you for all the shortbread you’ve ever made us.

late much?

to all my followers, i apologise profusely for my delay in blogging.

my excuse? i guess i don't really have one. i got back on the 28th of december and from there i could've blogged but i didn't. now that i work it out, i've only been back for 8 days-it's not THAT bad.

i went away up the coast for about 4 weeks and bad weather followed us everywhere. i managed to get 2 full beach days in. sad but now that i'm back in the cape, this heat wave isn't helping and i'd somewhat be happy to go back to the rainy, misty days in december 2010. i really do miss it all.

(time for a fresh start)

but christmas was good. different with my grandfather not there but i guess the puppy my mom decided to get filled that gap a little. it's the cutest little munchkin on this earth.

say hi :)

and new years, well that too was a jam. i was just glad to come back to cape town for one new years and so seeing everyone was lovely. it was much quieter than expected but nonetheless, entertaining. paddy and dan kept the party alive and then by the time we got to muzinberg beach, i think everyone sobered up from the cold and to top it all off, we went to sleep with the thunderstorms belting down. it was beautiful.

nice one matt

(yes, i used your real name)

so that's my short little re-cap of december for you. i could tell you much more but it's very long-winded so rather go see the pictures i put up on facebook. much easier :)

(my internet is being gay and won't let me upload any of my photos so you'll just have to see facebook)

away.

i cannot wait.

to get away. tomorrow morning at 9am i'm off.

yes, it's the usual trip but i'm ready for a break. i can't sit around here any longer.

i want to get in the car, sit back and listen to good music whilst taking photos of the unknown.

i am going to sit on the beach everyday and enjoy the quietness that is of klein brak.

time for me. and i am very grateful for that.

i'm ready for an adventure.

in other news . . .

happiness.

love.

friendship.

family.

a beautiful camera.

ankle boots.

i do love christmas.

...more than anything.

much needed.

last night was a night bound to come sometime soon.

a full blown confrontation sesh happened. and it was very much needed.

a quiet supper until one point was argued against another.

the tears began and once home there was a "meeting" upstairs.

an hour and a half later it felt like we got somewhere if nowhere.

we're going in to a christmas with many factors.

everyone needing everyone at some point.

we need to realise what is truly the most important for christmas this year and not have any burdens.

yes, i feel sorry for you BUT you need to engage more with this family and not just one person otherwise this christmas will not work out. you need to break free somewhat.

if you want to leave your children behind over christmas, do so. yes, they were invited but why would they want to suddenly join another family for chirstmas 4 hours away whom they've never met. FAIR.

i don't believe it's right but then again, people deal with issues their own way. and you're all boys. none of you may talk to each other about "feelings" like us girls do but i hope you do someday.

i pray that you can become a whole family again,be with each other and not feel dependent on always coming here.

gee the timing was all off in this situation.

swallowed in the sea

i know people always say it. change. change is good. change is bad.

recently something happened where change is upon us-upon my family. and i know it.

i lay in bed knowing that things will be different and yet it's something i've always been wanting.

is it possible i don't want this change even though it's for the best for others?

and that ulitmately if the others are happy then i'd be happier and there'd be less pressure on me?

now that i look at it, this is for the best. and so i will let it happen.

i need something spontaneous and exciting in my life now. i've got all the time right now to do "different" things. things i haven't done before. i think i may do more of my "list" today..

i need to get away to another country just to live a little. i want to help others. and listen to good music all day.

i'm going to be away for the whole of december and as much as it's a lot of driving and packing and un-packing, i think it's what i might just need. and it's our first christmas without my grandfather.  but we've gone through so much as a family, i think we'll manage.

(i do LOVE christmas though)

i'm scared of change. i try to adapt to it and the change in others and it's all about growing up but quite frankly,i don't want to grow up. i'm scared of the pressures outside.

can people change? i don't know. people are who they are. give or take, you know 15%, that's how much people can change if they really want to. whether it's for themselves. or the people they love. yeah, 15%. but you know what, sometimes that's just enough.

If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it